Conscious Uncoupling

I wonder who I will be when it’s no longer you and me 

but rather me and me 

and you and you 

one day, maybe soon, it will be you and her 

me and him 

I can’t help but wonder 

how much we shaped each other’s being 

carved our names into each other’s hearts

and we belonged there for a time 

it was wild and romantic and free 

the way you fell into my arms on that green velvet couch 

there wasn’t an inch of me that you did not claim as your own 

and you belonged to me, as much as anyone can belong to someone 

there were moments when I didn’t want to belong in your heart 

moments where silence tore us apart on the floor of that hotel room on my 31st birthday, words that etched their way into the fabric of my lungs 

we cast out dark shadows with great light that night 

fell asleep in a field as the crows cried overhead 

and we held each other tightly, 

not knowing if it was the last time our skin would heat up against the fire in our chests 

you were my everything

a force that swallowed me whole 

a bottomless depth to which I gleefully swam 

an emerald green ocean on a hot summers day 

I wonder when the frost of winter landed on the fruit of our love; 

it came without warning

it came without reason or remedy 

without declaration or denial 

the emptiness began to swallow us whole 

no contractual agreement to bind our unfolding 

the greatest love story began to rewrite itself 

from structure to formless 

from singular to limitless 

once again we find ourselves unbridled to expectation and free to truly love the places we’ve called home in each other’s evolution 

clawing and gripping at nothing 

releasing ideas of dogma and duty

sculpting a new ending, a final exploration, that the Angels will herald in heaven 

and bless from above 

because only the brave can love deeply enough 

to let each other go 

with this much beauty and innocence and grace