Don't Give Up Before the Miracle

A handful of months ago I decided to get a journal to write down my dreams after I slept.  For a few weeks, I wrote down every dream I could remember.   And then I stopped.  I felt like I was putting too much pressure on the process and it was becoming harder and harder to recall the dreams.  Over a month went by and I didn’t write one down.  Not one.  I would wake up in the middle of the night and think to myself, “Get up! Write it down!” but I wouldn’t get up, and I forgot by the time I started my day.  Then, I made a verbal contract with a friend.  She was unaware that she was part of this contract but I knew I had to hold myself accountable to my dreams.  

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So one day I sat myself down, looked at that black writer’s journal and began to fill in each date with my waking dreams –goals I have for this life.  At first it was tough.  I wrote down all of the stereotypical materialistic dreams we all have.  I started to get frustrated again.  Too much pressure.  I carried on.  Eventually the process took over and words were flying through my fingers and onto the page.  One by one my dreams were taking shape unleashing the hidden secrets of my soul.   One of the days I wrote, I dream of witnessing a miracle.  A few entries later I wrote I dream of laughing until I cry.  Directly to follow that I wrote, I dream of crying until I laugh.  Then I wrote, I dream of kissing my first baby...  

This is where I stopped.  There is something you should know before I explain what happened next.  This was not my dream.  I was getting to the point where I honestly felt like I didn’t want children.    

What happened next was an overwhelming sense of reality.  I felt as if I had just given birth.  I had the memory of pushing the baby out.  I could feel the blood, sweat and tears that went into the delivery of this baby.  It was a girl.  I envisioned holding her in my arms all wrapped up and squinting.  I could smell her skin.  I was there.  This all happened in an instant and there I was on my bed bawling my eyes out.  I mean uncontrollably sobbing!  I was holding my baby.  Then it dawned on me what a miracle this entry was and I began to laugh, then cry, then laugh.    

In that moment I realized that I had witnessed a miracle.  In that moment I realized that all of my dreams were coming true.  You just never know what your life has in store for you.  Don’t give up before the miracle.